“Ok, what do I need to accomplish today?”
This has been my first thoughts for 4 days as soon as I wake up in the morning. It was those moments when you realize you’re going home again after being away for almost a year, and you are juggling between packing and your office tasks that piled up due to the fact that you want to accomplish all you can do during your absence within a short period of time. I was frantic. I was restless.
Forgetting that Thing
As I say my prayer that morning, asking God to help me accomplish all my tasks, He reminded me what I might be forgetting one important thing from my list. And that is me. And He’s right (like duh, when is He ever wrong. LOL)
I can’t go home like this.
I had to literally stop and forget my lists for a while. I took a deep breath and asked myself a question that I haven’t asked for quite a while: How are you?
When I boldly answered this question, I realized “Oh, I’m all sorts of messed up”. I have all kinds of nasty stuff like pride, jealousy, laziness, materialism, and ungratefulness –all affecting how I think and see things around me. It’s not my packing & office lists that’s been weighing me down these couple of days, it’s these. And I can’t bring this home with me. Oh no no no no way! Time to unpack…
The Antidote: Gratefulness.
I had to go to work on the day of my flight, which was not until 11pm. It was my final hustle, but it was the most peaceful I’ve been. Because, unlike the other days, I dealt with myself first before the world. I was very grateful for the very opportunity of going home and having this job. For my family that I’m going home to, who is more excited than I am. For my housemates, churchmates, and friends who are all happy for me. Having that pep talk this morning really set the mood on how my day went by, which was so smooth. I can say this confidently despite having quite a few bumps along the way. I realized that —
When you have your heart in check and you acknowledge God’s presence, you will become unshakable.
As I sat by the waiting area, waiting to board the flight with my tired body who’s been in a hustle for the past week, all I have in my heart are praises for Him for this moment. This is really it. Finally.
I’m going home.